March 27, 2006

"Keeping Up Appearances" has got to be one of my first experiences with everyday life in a middle class English home. Hyacinth is a comedy heroine and her family and neighbors are all kind souls who put up with her needing to act posh. For those who haven’t seen the show it probably means that you don’t live in the UK, or don’t watch BBC America. I saw Hyacinth years before I married into my British family, and have to say that I am thankful for the show as it has helped me understand them so much better. Even though we both share the same language, the words we use can sometimes mean completely different things. This has been a constant reminder to me since we moved to London.

I was treated to an episode of Keeping Up Appearances last night and the wonderful brother-in-law (Onslow) and sister of Hyacinth (Daisy, wife to Onslow) were having one of their typical conversations on love and marriage. Daisy was fondly remembering how Onslow used to nibble at her ear, but now all he does is nibble on crisps. Onslow’s response to this was that there wasn’t as many flavors of crisps then as there are now. Take me back 8 or 9 years and I couldn’t have told you what a crisp was let alone that they came in a multitude of flavors.

This all brings me to the real issue at hand…Potatoes!

Growing up my parents didn’t stock the cupboard with potato chips, nor did they make french-fries for us to eat. We as a family didn’t go out for fast food either, and the closest I came consistently knowing I was going to get to eat a potato dish was mash potatoes at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Saint Patrick’s Day. On a rare occasion we would have baked potatoes with our dinner, but it was never a staple in my diet.

Living in the UK you get a whole new perspective on the world of potatoes.

Let’s start with crisps (English for the American potato chip). Onslow was spot on when he said that crisps come in many flavors. You won’t see shelves of Lays, Doritos, and Ruffles here, except on the rare occasion. Stores carry their own name brands and with that a unique variety of flavors. I will start with some basics but trust me they do begin to seem a bit strange as the list goes on:

Balsamic Vinegar & Sea Salt, Hickory Smoked Ribs, Mango Chili, Salsa Mesquite, Sea Salt & Black Peppercorns, Undressed, Cheddar Mango Chutney, Oriental Ribs, Sweet Chicken Pork Crackles, Chicken Posada, Grilled Steak, Yogurt Mint, Oriental Chicken, Oak Smoked Barbeque Hand Cooked, Tomato Garlic Plus Basil, Flame Grilled Steak, Pickled Onion, Prawn Cocktail, and finally Slow Roasted Lamb Mint.

But the world of potatoes doesn't stop there. If you would really like a baked potato, you need to keep your eyes peeled for jacket potatoes on the menu. You won't find French fries on the menu at all, they're called chips. But be warned that you would look quite out of place if you ate your chips with your fingers. Here a knife and fork are the proper way to devour the tasty bits of starch, salt, and grease.

Amazingly enough mashed is still mashed, but is rare to find and never quite as good as crisps, chips or jackets.